Star Struck

(46) (46 Comments)

Description

“Why are you so good to me…?” I whispered, leaning my head against his chest. He lifted his hand and tilted my chin, looking me in the eyes, his beautiful, bright blue eyes…
“Because you need someone who will be. A man to love you, treat you like a goddess. Grow old with you, have kids with you… I want to be that man Dani. If that means I have to wade through your past shit with you, holding you above it all, so you don’t drown… then I will do it.”

Length

51,418 words

About 171 pages

46 comments on “Star Struck

  • i am surprised u took only few days to write. i enjoyed reading it ! kept my interests intact.

  • I truly loved this. Dani was so relateable, she had a real problem that I latched onto. One thing that threw me unless I missed it was where the pair lived at the beginning.

    Also I don’t know if “hey” is a term like eh or yeah but that detracted from it for me.

    Overall I really loved this and would read it again because it was constantly growing and moving on. Once you can fix the font, grammar, and the hey it will be flawless.

    • on said:

      Thanks for the feed back. I wrote this in only a couple days, so it’s quite a rough draft. I think I got a bit excited with being able to publish it somewhere. LOL.
      I do have to go back and fix it and I don’t know why the font went so out of whack. I’m not impressed with that, but can’t change it, because I will lose all my votes.
      Glad that you like it.

  • I liked Dani’s character, I felt like the direction she took was very believable for a woman who had gone through those types of things. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, but that is pretty easily fixed. I would have liked the font to be more uniformed. It distracts from the story. Overall I really enjoyed the story.

    • on said:

      Thanks for the comment. I know that the grammar was a bit off, but unfortunately I can’t fix it, unless I pull the story and start the voting all over again.
      As for the font… For some reason, it changed it all, when I uploaded it and I don’t know why. It does detract, even I think the same. :(
      But overall, I am glad that you stuck with it and read it all the way through.
      Thanks again.

  • Great Job! Good story. Continue where you left the story please.

    • on said:

      Thanks Tina. I’m trying to figure where to start it.
      I think I might have restarted it like fifty times. I am hoping to get it done soon.
      Thanks for your comments.

  • Loved the story, I could not put it down… Great job!!! :-)

    • on said:

      Thank you. Hopefully #2 will be up soon. But am moving… so that sort of takes priority.
      Glad people are enjoying.

  • Read this in one sitting. It was a great read. Story have everything! Looking forward to reading the next book!

    • on said:

      Thank you. I have to get off my butt and do the second one.
      Everyone is asking for it. Might make it a Mother’s Day thing. Sit with a cuppa and type all day. :)

  • Read this non-stop! So good! Excited about the next one! :)

    • on said:

      Thank you. I am trying to get #2 to work properly. Just rying to figure out exactly where to start and finish it.
      So glad that people liked it.

  • Loved the plot and the storyline!

  • Seriously, how cute is this passage!

    “Because you need someone who will be. A man to love you, treat you like a goddess. Grow old with you, have kids with you… I want to be that man Dani. If that means I have to wade through your past shit with you, holding you above it all, so you don’t drown… then I will do it.”

    Absolutely loved this story!

    • on said:

      Thanks. I am proud of this one, seeing as it only took a few days to write. Now to just finish the second one and I will be happy… and have a lot of happy readers too!

  • on said:

    Thank you Xanthia. I didn’t write a prologue, because there is going to be a second one. I am trying to figure out exactly where to start it. I am glad that it made your sick day awesome.
    I know that there are a few typos… (oops) that’s what you get when you are too excited and write something in only five days. He he…
    I am glad that people are loving it and hope that the second one is accepted as much as the first.

  • Ok, So I absolutely loved the plot line. It seemed a little bit like it had Fifty Shades of Grey in its background, but I still enjoyed it. There were some typos, but other than that it was amazing! I think in general you should have written an epilogue for those of us who like to know what happens after the happy ending. I do have to say that I started to tear up at a couple points but this made my sick day awesome!

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