The Stone Ones

Description

By the time 17-yr old Josephine discovers her boyfriend, Charles, is an alien, secretly living on the Earth, she’s already in love, and her normal life is catapulted into his dangerous world, where protecting humans from an enemy alien race are a necessity.
An encounter with enemy forces, a serious injury, and a blood transfusion, alters Josephine’s life forever. Her identity is challenged when she begins to see changes in her own human abilities. With new blood she discovers a strength and power she never knew existed, forever changing her destiny.
As the story unfolds, her own insecurities are tested, and Jo finds herself having to traverse through unfamiliar terrain where even she questions whether or not her forbidden love with Charles can survive his alien world.

Length

100,709 words

About 336 pages

144 comments on “The Stone Ones

  • Beautiful writing!!! Not only that, but I the chemistry you created between Josephine and Charles is out of this world (pun intended). Great read!!!!

    • on said:

      Thank you Grace for reading The Stone Ones! I loved writing Jo and Charles’ story and I’m just thrilled you loved them too! :) DSC

  • Good story, I really enjoyed this one. I loved the chemistry, I look forward to reading more!

    • on said:

      Thank you for your comment. I think the chemistry between the main characters is a vital part of any story. I am currently working with an editor and look forward to posting the new revised copy soon. :) DSC

  • on said:

    I like to give an initial comment based only on the full description…because that’s the pitch you’ll be sending to agents/editors, etc. I’ll comment more as I read the full manuscript. My main complaint about the description is that it has many grammatical errors and the sentence structure makes for awkward reading. I encourage you to either carefully look through and read aloud each sentence for readability, or have someone do that for you. I can see that you are a talented writer, but I had to read each sentence more than once to gather the meaning.

  • This is one awesome book. Are you planning on making a second one. It won my heart. A easy 5 hearts.

    • on said:

      Hi Lyric! Thank you for reading The Stone Ones, and for you kind comment. The Stone Ones is the first book in a trilogy, so there is alot more to come. Stay tuned … :) DSC

  • Started reading this today and I am finding it to be pretty good. Nice work.

    • Thank you Robbie! I have made many revisions since I posted my manuscript on Swoon Reads and am so grateful for the supportive comments. :) DSC

  • Easy 5 hearts!

  • Hi DS!
    I am about 30% of the way through The Stone Ones. I noticed there is only a day left for your story to be on Swoon. I read a few of the previous comments and your reply that you have begun revisions. I wanted to leave some thoughts before time is up. If you put it back on Swoon, I will definitely reread the beginning and finish it. I think you have a gift for description.

    Recently, I have been diving into Stephen King’s tips for writers. He makes mention of the trap of over description. At times it can detract the reader from the flow of the story. At a few places in The Stone Ones, I felt some description could have been left out without detracting the flow of the story and still have me turning the pages. I particularly liked the scene where Josephine discovered the entrance to the Alien’s home. Her exploration of the “cave” created some suspense for me. I loved how she ended up in her car after and her drive home….. You captured that scene very well. Home run.

    I was a little confused by the video taping scene. The two young thugs that showed up on the beach….. I thought they caused her to drop the camera. I may need to go back and reread. Yet the video still rolled and was able to capture the scene between Charles and the bad teens.

    I just left off at the point where Josephine and Charles tell each other they are in love with each other. For me, I did not have any build up between the two or feel any tension. They met, and had 3ish encounters and they were in love. If I have the opportunity, after today, to read the rest of the story, it may help me understand more how deep their love becomes. I am left curious how you will handle her aging and Charles staying the same!

    I enjoyed reading this story and hope I will be able to read the rest! The delicate balance of using descriptive words and metaphors in just the right amount and strengthening strong verbs, eliminating passive was/were will enhance the flow of the story and highlight the rich plot.

    Best wishes as you continue the journey of The Stone Ones,
    Raschelle

    • on said:

      Dear Raschelle,

      I will be uploading the updated version later today, but wanted to thank you for taking the time to read and for your helpful feedback. The aging situation will be addressed as you get further into the story. :) DSC

  • on said:

    Unique, witty, charming, adventurous, heart-wrenchingly good!

  • I haven’t read alot of YA-Sci-Fi, but this one is by far one one of the best. I agree with what the one reader posted about you having captured the “Teen angst” and that the characters played out well through their dialog and surroundings. I also liked the way Josephine grew into her powers. I gave you a plus1 on each category in the swoon rating system.

  • [deleted] on said:

    I usually wouldn’t go for sci-fi but I’m glad I read this one, it was a really witty, unique take on a very classic story. I enjoyed how you managed to convey the characters personalities through their actions and dialogue so that I really got a sense of who they were. The only thing I didn’t get on with was how quickly and flippantly (SPOLER) he seemed to break up with her, it all seemed a bit like ‘Wow! hang on a minute’. I think maybe if it did happen when they were talking before hand it would be better, so he has to do it face to face and then the painting is waiting for at home as well?? I don’t know. Just a suggestion. I think the whole ‘teen angst’ thing was captured really well as well. Overall, a good novel, well done :) x

    • on said:

      HI Rebecca! Thank you for taking a chance on some sci-fi and for your very helpful comment. I am in the process of making revisions and will take your suggestions into consideration. You made my day! :) DSC

      • [deleted] on said:

        Aw thank you :) That in turn, has made mine. Just to be a little tacky here…could you check out my novel Towards Our Shared End as well? Thanks!

  • on said:

    I love to read anything within the sci-fi genre, and I have to say that I absolutely loved this story. The love between the two main characters left me with a yearning for more. The pace of the story was action packed and full of adventure, which made it hard to stop reading. I also liked the side characters. They made a nice balance for the stress level, and gave comic relief too.

  • Great title, great cover. I got hung up a little on the flowery clichés throughout, but maybe that is part of the genre. This is my first read on this site and I’m getting educated about SWOONing. I agree with the reader above that the first chapter was a slow starter. Maybe start with some narrative establishing location and relevant family members just before Charles meets J. Also think 100,000 words is a little long for this story. Try squishing pairs of chapters together. I look forward to revisions if you repost.

    • on said:

      Thank you for your valuable input Robin! I have revised quite a bit since I first posted my manuscript on the Swoon Reads site. Will post updated version soon. :) DSC

  • This is the first book I’ve read on this site and I really liked it. I decided on this one because I loved the title and the cover art is great. I think the first chapter could be a little shorter so you can jump right in to where Josephine meets Charles. After that, the story had me sitting on pins and needles. The ending brought everything together perfectly and I really wanted more.

    • Thank you for picking The Stone Ones as your first read, especially since you based your decision on the title and the cover. I am currently working on revisions, most of which are based on the comments I am receiving on this site. :) DSC

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