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The Boogeyman pattipetronemiller

Description

The Monster in your closet is real...the monster under your bed makes you scream. You sleep with a nightlight thinking it will protect you from the evil that lies within your very soul. Murray Thompson has nightmares. Nightmares that stemmed from his childhood through the constant teasing by his older brother Jack, and his bullying. Murray knew the truth. Murray knows deep within his soul that he has indeed met the Boogeyman and the monster in his closet was not a figment of his imagination. The demon haunts his very being, his every waking moment, that instills fear like no other has. The thought of his red eyes and long pointed fangs is enough to point Murray toward the direction of his long time and trusted Psychiatrist, Doctor Rosen, who vows to make him forget what he has witnessed as a young boy. time passes,

Length

  • 24048 words
  • About 96 pages
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Swoon Index Ranking

  • Heat

  • Tears

  • Laughs

  • Thrills

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4 comments on "The Boogeyman"

Reina Galí on June 18, 2017, 1:56 a.m. said:

Reina Galí


I stand by what I said in my earlier comment--I can definitely see the potential for a story here but it lacks nuance and suspense that can be build by focusing on scenes and really showing what is happening. So much is done through dialogue that doesn't need to be. I think that in order for the 'reveal' to be surprising you need more than one suspect or possibility. This second half of the book fell flat to me in part, though, because of my own history with obsessive compulsive disorder and agoraphobia--I cannot tell if the author has experience in these, but I'd really recommend researching all these disorders before name dropping, because it's all serious stuff. It's hard to look at a character as unreliable or crazy when they have literally the same issues I do.

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pattipetronemiller on Aug. 27, 2017, 9:44 p.m. said:

pattipetronemiller


Reina, I appreciate everything you said and will again go back and revise. Great comments and exactly what I needed to hear! No sugar coating. Bravo!

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Reina Galí on June 18, 2017, 1:45 a.m. said:

Reina Galí


I'm about 40% done with this one, and I think it can be fleshed out so much more. I think fear needs to be built from suspense, and we need a bit more showing and less telling. Pruning scenes we don't need and lengthening ones we do will be a great help--but it's a fun, quick read and I should finish it fairly soon!

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pattipetronemiller on Aug. 27, 2017, 9:41 p.m. said:

pattipetronemiller


Thank you so much for your suggestions! I will definitely use them in my revisions!

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