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The Secret Fate of Willow Blue - The Vision M.J. Labrooy

Description

Willow Blue was born with a mystifying vision to see the spiritual guardians assigned to every human on earth – except one: a mortal with a forbidden destiny. Purposefully guided to the sedate coastal town of Blue Angel Bay, sixteen year old Willow busily tries to resurrect her life when she unexpectedly meets Tyler Sharp. With his effortlessly perfect face and a relaxed confidence that conveys unpretentious power, the sheer force of his presence instantly captures Willow. But something is glaringly wrong – Tyler is without a guardian. Instantly she knows he is the fallen human forewarned to her so long ago. But Tyler is compellingly addictive and what Willow doesn't realize is that the connection between them is the inception of a deadly new reality that will bring the world to its knees.

Length

  • 79394 words
  • About 318 pages
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Swoon Index Ranking

  • Heat

    8

  • Tears

    4

  • Laughs

    3

  • Thrills

    9

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24 comments on "The Secret Fate of Willow Blue - The Vision"

K. Rain on April 25, 2014, 11:04 a.m. said:

K. Rain


Love the font you used on your book cover. It's very professional looking. Love your book's description hook. It's well thought out, well written. Don't know when I will get time to pick up my reading again, but I just wanted to tell you nice job on the outside! Good luck.

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 1, 2014, 8:21 p.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


I'm quite impressed so far. You fit in descriptions without bogging down your narrative and it is an interesting story. I've read up through Willow leaving the bank. Hehe, it almost seems as if the guardians are for her, rather than everyone else, as they all appeared to want to help her. It's a shame this hasn't gotten more reads and votes because it's more interesting than some I've seen that have.
The only quirk I've noticed so far that you might want to keep in mind when editing is that you used the work quickly quite often and a lot of participles in succession.
I loved your description of Willow's mother's guardian and the angel statue and I agree it's a very good cover, though it did make me think that this was a period piece, maybe from the Salem Witch Trial era, which intrigued me.
You held my interest anyway.

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 7, 2014, 9:46 p.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


As noted before, your prose is very good. I really loved the line about the mirror over the vanity reflecting a different, more confident face.
The language is a little flowery for first-person narration, but with Willow, who has lived in her head because she didn't have anyone in her life, it fits.
I like the guardians and their puppyish enthusiasm at having Willow amongst them. I wonder if they helped her get into school, because I can't imagine it would be easy to enroll with a parent or (ahem) guardian.
And ever since her mother died she's known that she would encounter an a herald for the Dark One, with no idea of why or what she was to do about it. That's enough to make most of us cower in a closet.
Looking forward to reading more.

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 8, 2014, 11:54 p.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


Good job building the tension. I believe you have a reveal coming soon and I bet I know what it is.
This must have been such a fun world to create, essentially doubling the number of characters that you had with their guardians. It would be interesting to know how you decided how they would look because in most cases they are so different from their people.
I like that Macy's mother's aura was yellow, like Willow's mother's had been. No wonder she felt so comforted in her presence.
It's good you showed a subtle intervention by one of the guardians, with Josh's suggesting that he cool his jets, lest he scare off the girl.
Can't wait to meet Tyler

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 10, 2014, 7:27 p.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


I love the way you describe people and, as I said before, you have twice as many, with the guardians. You really outdid yourself with Tyler though and Josh..."his eyes were a dead vacuum" and then his sleek smile.
I could tell exactly how the coffee shop looked and it was charming. The old juke box was a really nice touch. I think.you might want to identify the song that was playing. It could help add to the atmosphere if it were, say, Are You Lonesome Tonight.
I'm really curious what the guardians have in mind now. I wonder if at some point she'll feel like she was coerced by them and they're working with the "unguarded" one.
I think you've used mirrored too often with Willow and...him and you're also a SpellCheck victim, with such homonyms as 'fainted' and feinted' but overall, I wish there was some other way I could draw more attention to your story
.
SR, pay attention!

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M.J. Labrooy on Oct. 12, 2014, 11:24 p.m. said:

M.J. Labrooy


Thanks Vera,
Yes, I really wanted to show the difference between Tyler and your average teenage boy! The name of the song is identified in an earlier chapter "Dream a little dream of me", the song Willow's mother sang to her and the reader is reminded of this further on in the chapter. Thanks for the editing tips, I really appreciate your feedback.

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 11, 2014, 9:14 p.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


Tyler is quite a distraction, isn't he, not only for Wills but us as well. In these last idyllic chapters, almost forgot about the concerns of the guardian who didn't appear to be in the loop. I'm going to reread the intro to Blue Angel. I think you hid something there.

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 14, 2014, 10:51 p.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


I love wordplay so the use of imprint and impenetrable in the same paragraph gets my hearty approval. Maybe there should be an addition to the Swoon index for memorable lines.
Excellent job with the bank scene. The malevolent guardians were so interesting, such a contrast to the others that she's seen before. It's as if she's getting closer to the evil she's always feared.

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 18, 2014, 8:41 p.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


I've read as far as the appearance of Willow's visitor. Since it's already been established that (a) I love your writing (b) I think your story's fascinating (c) I'm very impressed with the story within a story with the Guardians, I have other comments.
(a) Why make Tyler and Alex football players if they were never going to play a football game. It would seem that's what they should have been doing a lot of the time that they're sending with Willow and Macy, especially on the weekend.
(b) The time frames seem a little...fluid. Sometimes Willow gave the impression that the time since she and Tyler had had everything explained to them was a matter of weeks, or days or the next day. You might want to pin it down a little more clearly.
(c) I assume Tyler's parents were influenced by their guardians to be so accepting of Willow's situation. That's something that she should probably state, since normally, a principal would be in all kinds of trouble for harboring a runaway, even if she wasn't his son's girlfriend.
(d) Tyler's disappointment was palpable, learning that he was going to have a noble mission from meeting the girl for whom he was destined, not just epic sex (hehe)

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Vera Garnes Burris on Oct. 19, 2014, 10:36 a.m. said:

Vera Garnes Burris


It was, as you said, a satisfactory conclusion, with the suggestion of more. I thought the last scene in the elements was a bit protracted, because it would have made sense to get Willow back inside, but the last line might have made it worth it.
Her actions leading up to it reminded me of Bella in the woods in Breaking Dawn.
Things that I loved included:
Madeline- I wondered about her being in the higher order when the scepter was mentioned and I loved that someone so diminutive was so important
Madeline and Alex- She's so maternal toward him, which is exactly what he needs, since his mother so isn't
Alex and Macy- It's good to contrast the intensity and weight of Tyler and Willow's relationship with something simple and adorable
Macy and Earl- I'm not sure what she needs that he supplies, but I like that all of the knowledge and wisdom comes in the presence of a bubbly girl
Tyler's passion and competence
Willow's affinity for guardians with a yellow or golden aura because of her mother
Willow's clever use of the guardian during the New Year's Day event
Tyler's parents' acceptance of his and Willow's relationship
There's more to come

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